Today Is The Day

Yesterday, April 26th, Dave and I got to go hear a very gifted pianist and a few gifted vocalists at the pianist's Junior Recital for Portland Bible College. I was blown away. How much differently can someone sound when they are playing music that is so  ... well ... elemental to them?? I mean, to play without thought because the notes and melody come from the soul. How much more beautiful can life get??

As I listen to these musicians, I am blown away by the very giftedness that God blessed them all with. Some have vocal ability far and above the norm, even with voice lessons. The pianist rocks the piano world with his ability to play a wide range of music, from jazz to the most classical piece you can think of. Yet he chooses to use this gift to worship our God and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

How much different would the world be, do you think, if we all did what we are GIFTED at?? If all we concentrated on was what God wanted us to do and had in store for us?? I mean, seriously, can you just picture it?? I can.

I think I would be helping people through the grief process. Perhaps I would be counseling young adults on what choices they do NOT want to make, based on scriptural references. From my life experiences, I believe I could help people see how every choice we make is just that ... a choice of free will.

For instance, when Danny died, I had two options of how to proceed with my life. I could either get angry with God and pull away OR I could place my life and Danny's death solidly in His hands. I chose the latter.

Don't get me wrong ... this doesn't make me a better person or anything, it just means that I knew what choice I had to make. I love my God but this was a serious test of my faith in Him and His plan for my life. So, back to college I went. My heart kept saying that I needed to finish what I had started over 30 years ago (really, what HE had started in me), so that I could minister to and help others to a place of worship with my music and my love for God. The realization that HE is my everything hit me then. I realized that without HIM, I would be less than nothing and I wanted to share that knowledge with others. 

How do we know if we are doing what God has called us to do?? Do we really "audibly" hear His voice? If we do, is there any other option than to obey? How often do we turn away out of fear? Disobedience? I did ... a lot!!

My next task was to conquer the feeling of inadequacy that I felt for going back to college so late in life. I was 48 and would have my AA at the age of 50. That just didn't sound so good to me!    I felt as if I would be the oldest student there and definitely out of place. BUT I felt 100% convinced this is where God wanted me to be. So I went.

This has probably been the most difficult yet rewarding two years of my entire adult life. In the last few months, some of the young adults have begun seeking out my advice. Generally I start out with them by saying something like "You know, my best advice is going to be to tell you what NOT to do ... are you ok with that?" When they say "sure", we continue our conversations.

It has been amazing to me how cathartic this whole process has been to me. For the first time in a very long time I believe I am exactly where God wants me to be, doing exactly what He needs me to do. For now.

After several people have told me they think I should look into working with young adults, I had that word confirmed by two professors and a mentor at PBC. If I had been wondering whether or not this is the direction I am supposed to go, I am not wondering anymore!  

A very dear, if relatively new, friend met with me for coffee this yesterday. When we got to the library (where she works), she began to share with me what was going on in her life. After a few minutes of this, I gently took her hand in mine, looked her in the eye and said "You can stop now. You need to take a breath and be still." She looked at me and said "Ok" and she did. After a couple of minutes of just sitting like this and seeking God's Presence, He gave me a word for her. When I looked at her, she said to me "Are you going to Jean me now?" and we both giggled. Indeed, I "Jean"ed her. 

I am learning every day that God gives us words for people who need them. I am learning to not ask why, or what for, but simply to give His message to whomever He tells me to.

I have recently come to the conclusion that I am an idealist. I believe that we are called to love one another ... not only fellow believers but non-believers as well. After all, if we the church ... the hands, feet, ears and heart of God do NOT seek to love those of the world ... WHO WILL??

I am rambling so I will end this post with one last thought.

Jesus loves me, this I know ... 
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but He is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
The Bible tells me so!!