2011: Who Needs A Job??

So in March of 2011, my pastor had just asked me to think about starting a kid's choir. I looked at him and said this "I really can't commit to anything else right now. With the full time job and all, I am super busy with the stuff I'm already doing at the church. I DO feel that God wants me more involved, so please pray for me that I'll know what He wants me to do. I need all the prayers I can get!"

The very next day, no kidding. At 8:07am my boss calls me into his office and says "Well, Jean, we are moving things around a bit and we don't need you anymore." What did I do?? Well, I looked him straight in the eye and began laughing my hardest. In fact, I laughed so hard he looked at me and said "What are you laughing at? Didn't you hear what I just said?" To which I simply responded "Well, I have had God answer prayers just never this quickly OR this obviously!" I then walked out to my desk and began quietly packing up my things. I called Dave and he came to pick me up.

That very morning, as Dave was driving me back to the house, he looked at me and said "How do you feel about college? You had mentioned a while back and I'm curious if you've given it more thought?" I looked at him, head tilted, and shook my head. Oh, the quiet faith of a gentle, wonderful man. "Well, I WOULD love to go to a worship/ministry college, but how in the world would we make that work? I mean ... financially?"

He looked at me and said "You are the one who is always telling me to trust in God. Don't you think it's time you listened to yourself and did just that? Trusted God to make this happen if it is meant to?"

I had begun to cry, softly. I had known from the time I was small that God had given me a great leadership and worship gift that I had always been afraid to use. I knew that once God started moving in my life, I could do nothing to stop it. That one way or another, my will would become His. Even though that is as it should be, it terrified me. So I ran. The other way. From the time I was 20 until I was 41, as quickly as I could. I tried my best to tune Him out so I didn't have to change.

All of that changed on this day, March 21st, 2011.

Dave took me to a college that he had read about online, and I fell in love with the people and the Spirit of God that was ever present there. The decision had been made by my Heavenly Father and I was going to fulfill my calling. God provided the funds for the college through unemployment and I was so excited. Every time I turned around and some financial need came up for my family, God took care of it. Just like He said He would. He is a God of His word and I am grateful for that.

Towards the end of my first term, the last week of November, I noticed that my right eye wasn't functioning correctly and the ceiling of vision in my right eye was only about half-height. What that means is that everything above the mid-point of my vision was black. Dark. Nothing to be seen. It freaked me out and scared me half to death.

My eye doctor recommended that I see a retinal specialist when she suspected that my retina had detached. The specialist met with Dave and I and said "The ONLY repair is to do a retinal reattachment surgery, but that is very, very expensive. How do you want to move forward with this?" I look at Dave and begin to cry. I am tired. At this point of my life, it feels like satan is doing everything possible to stop me from fulfilling my destiny. I am angry because I do not want him to win. I want God to rule my life. But how?? What in the world can GOD do for me now??

I am tired ... again. Dave and I go home and he again makes phone calls on my behalf. By the time he is done, he has secured financing for the entire surgical procedure, including anesthesia and anesthesiaologist, operating room, and the eye surgeon. This entire surgery, which is a $27000 surgery, cost us ... NOTHING!! God is so good that He took care of the ENTIRE bill!!

The surgeon waited until after A was married on December 17th and the surgery was done on the 19th of December. I waded through mid-terms with less than 1/2 vision and still God blessed me with a 3.6 for my final semester grade. God is good!!

I guess the reason I am sharing all of this is as a gentle reminder that when God speaks to us, we really NEED to listen. We may not want to and, in some instances, could probably find a perfectly good excuse for walking the other way. Our God is a patient God, and He will not try and bend us to His will. He will, however, keep You close to Him. He will gently remind you and, at times, not so gently nudge you in the direction that you need to go. I implore you ... listen!!! There is a passage that speaks about God clothing the flowers in a field with beauty, even though they will never been seen by human eyes. How much more important are we to Him than the flowers in the fields!! 

He loves us and blesses us when we follow Him.Don't get me wrong ... this doesn't mean that there will not be hardships. My life and losing Danny is proof of that. What it does mean is that God will take care of us. He WANTS to take care of us ... we have simply to ask.