Human-ness (aka humanity)

Today is a sad day for my heart. It seems like an ordinary Sunday to the world outside my window. The gray has covered the sky for the morning and that, too, seems fitting.

Perhaps if I ask God, He can tell me a few things.  Things like why we listen to satan when he lies to us. 

I found out today that a woman I didn't know took her own life because her child was taken from her. A newborn baby, the smallest light of the moment, was already gone from this world, making it a little lonelier for her family. But this young mom had another child to live for. Another little person depending on her to make it through this. But satan lied to her. I am sure that he approached her at her weakest, most vulnerable time, and yelled at her. He would have said things like "it won't get better, you know" ... "your family is better off without you" ... "you will never get through this" ... and her soul allowed her to believe, even if only for a moment. It was long enough for her to take her own life. I know all to well the feeling of utter despair and depression. A "long-term solution for a short-term issue" is what suicide really is. No matter how I try to, I will never understand it.

I am positive that her loving Father was whispering in her ear all along. "Honey, we will get through this. I promise that I am right here with you. I will never leave you nor forsake you. Please trust me. Your family loves you as I love you. Always have loved you. Always will love you. Please do not do this. This is a final act that cannot be undone. Things will remain forever in your loved ones memories that cannot be unsaid. Regret will run rampant and that enemy of ours will do everything he can to take everything from you. I PROMISE that I am here from you and will never go away. PLEASE talk to me. Cry with me, even as I am crying for you. I feel your loss more profoundly than you know. I loved her too. Believe me, I did." At the crossroads that was this moment of time, this young mom had two choices ... to reach out and take the hand Christ was extending to her to lift her up and close to Him or turn away. Regretfully, sadly, she turned away. 

PLEASE do not read this to say that "She isn't with God" or "she turned her back on God so He's turning His back on her". This is not, even for a moment, what my heart and soul believe, nor do either of these options even begin to ring true to my Spirit. My heart is more sad than words can ever express at the loss of this life.

This young mom's son will now live a life without her in it. He will be raised by other family members, no mother's touch. He will not see her smiling, proud face at his high school graduation. She will not be at his wedding, nor will she be able to help him raise his own children.

I have said in my posts that if it weren't for Dave and C, there would have been a grave next to my Danny for me. I did not say that lightly but with all the feeling and truth in my being that I can only try and convey to you.

Let us not forget this young mom. Let us push forward in our desire to understand depression and why it has such a powerful hold on us. Let us search out new ways to help those in distress; whether it's by lending a shoulder to cry on, or perhaps a giant box of kleenex and hot chocolate; help us to listen to the Spirit when these things happen. God help us to not be afraid of what people will think of us, but only of what YOU think of us. How much our obedience means to You, the Triune God.